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Divorce mediation is a great alternative to traditional litigation when the process works. A successful mediation allows couples to save a lot of money on legal costs while they complete their divorce in far less time than it usually takes to go through the courts. Mediation also gives the spouses privacy while dealing with one of the most personal events in their lives.

Divorcing couples from all walks of life are turning to mediation because of its inherent benefits. One recent example is Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. This celebrity couple reportedly worked with a divorce mediator to hammer out the terms and conditions of their split, which helped them avoid a long, drawn-out, and public legal battle.

You do not have to be a high-profile couple like Brady and Bundchen to make divorce mediation work for you, all you really need is a willingness to work in good faith with your spouse to come to an agreement that can be mutually beneficial for all parties involved. With that in mind, here are some helpful tips to ensure a smooth divorce mediation process:

Be Honest

One of the most important things that will help your mediation to go smoothly is being open and honest, especially with the mediator. As a neutral third party, the mediator is there to help you by facilitating the process and hopefully bringing you and your spouse toward a win-win settlement. But if you withhold key pieces of information from them, this will hinder the progress that you are able to make. Remember, the more the mediator knows about the important issues, the better they can help you.

Be Proactive

It is always helpful to take some preliminary actions before you start your mediation sessions. If you have a good relationship with your soon-to-be ex, have some discussions with them about the issues that are most important to you; such as parenting plans and schedules, how the marital assets should be divided, whether or not the house should be sold, who should live in the house if you decide to keep it, etc. Going into mediation after having agreed in principle on the most important items can help ensure a more timely proceeding.

If you have a contentious relationship with your spouse, divorce mediation can still work very well for you, but you will need to approach things differently. If discussions with your spouse have a tendency to quickly turn argumentative, it will not be productive to try to work out the details of your divorce ahead of time. In a case like this, it is best not to have any conversations with your spouse (about the divorce) outside of mediation.

Be Transparent

Earlier, we talked about being honest with the mediator. As an extension of that, be transparent with all of the documents that are required. Gather all of your documents in a timely manner so you do not hold up the process. And avoid the temptation to hide things.

If a spouse hides assets, for example, it can ruin any goodwill that would have been established during mediation and result in numerous other negative consequences. It is far better to be forthcoming with all of the required financial documentation.

Be Open-Minded

Divorce mediation provides an opportunity for spouses to get creative and come up with out-of-the-box solutions that work best for their specific circumstances. To accomplish this, however, it is good for participants to be open-minded and willing to entertain ideas that they would be far less likely to hear in a courtroom.

One of the great things about mediation is that you and your spouse are ultimately the ones in control. If you are willing to put aside your differences and work together, you might be surprised at how happy you will be with the ultimate outcome.

Hold Your Fire

As you go into mediation, always keep in mind that this is not meant to be a combative process. As such, avoid the temptation to stir things up with subtle jabs, mocking remarks, or full of verbal assaults.

It is likely that you have emotional wounds from your breakup, almost everyone who goes through this does. In spite of this, do your best to avoid letting your emotions get the best of you during mediation. This will only set things back and drag out the process.

Maintain your Momentum

When you are involved in the divorce mediation process, it is very important to keep your momentum going as you move toward a final settlement. This means keeping all of your appointments and avoiding cancellations unless it is absolutely necessary. Canceling costs you more time and money. When things get dragged out, it becomes harder to get back on track, and this likely means that more sessions will be needed in order to reach a resolution.

Keep a Long-Term View

Throughout the mediation process, remember why you are doing this and keep your end goal in mind. Understand that you may have to deal with your soon-to-be ex-spouse for the rest of your life, especially if you have children together. For this reason, it is in everyone’s best interest to maintain good relations. Mediation can help you accomplish this in a timely and cost-efficient manner if you remain committed to the process.

Contact AMS to Learn More About Divorce Mediation

If you are facing a divorce in the near future and you are interested in finding out about divorce mediation, Advanced Mediation Solutions (AMS) is here to help. We provide both in-person and remote mediation sessions, and our flexible scheduling is designed to fit the needs of our clients. For a free consultation with one of our experts, message us online or call our office today at (856) 669-7172. We look forward to serving you!


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