I can remember going through my own divorce almost 10 years ago and thinking, “who am I”? I became a person I didn’t recognize at all. I’m typically an upbeat person who can handle anything life throws me but divorce was a whole foreign chapter in my book of life.
Most days I had no idea how I was actually functioning. It seemed like I was on auto pilot just going through the motions, getting up, going to work, coming home, taking care of business. Some days I can remember spending most of my waking moments crying.
If I was at work, I would hide in a bathroom stall and just stay in there for what seemed like forever until I could pull myself together and head out back to my desk. I was very careful not to let anyone at work know what I was going through because I felt like if I let the “cat out of the bag” then I would have to deal with it all of the time. There would be no reprieve.
I remember days of seriously thinking I would never smile again, which for me was like a death sentence since I had always found so much joy in living life. The point I’m trying to make is that for so many of us, divorce is like something we have never dealt with in our life. It’s throws us off balance and often times we feel like we are drowning in a sea of conflicting emotions. At points we may feel sadness, anger, relief and yes, we even feel tremendous grief. All emotions which can be in conflict with one another. There’s no school to attend or teachers to learn from about how to navigate through all of this.
Support can come in many different forms. Some of us seek therapy, others may do yoga or channel their emotions into a project. Whatever it is, there are no wrong answers. Find what helps you and do it. Know that the sun will shine, you will smile and find joy in life again. You will begin a new chapter in your book and who knows, maybe you’ll become a Professional Family Mediator like I did.
Here’s another helpful article that was recently published on FamilyAffaires.com. I hope it helps you in your current chapter.
Roseann’s experience and credentials alone set her apart from other professional mediators in the state. She has an extensive business and financial background, and worked for many years in a corporate setting. Roseann is also very personable, down-to-earth, and she is truly passionate about her work. Having been through a divorce herself and benefited from the advantages of mediation, Roseann brings a unique perspective along with the ability to remain impartial while deeply empathizing with what each party is going through.
Carmela DeNicola is a business and workplace mediator with over three decades of executive experience in the corporate world. Carmela handles all types of business and workplace mediation. She works with municipalities, schools, private companies, partnerships, non-profits, and any other type of entity. Carmela can be reached at cd@advancedmediationsolutions.net or 856-669-7172
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