Divorce Issues Are Not Really About the Law

Divorce is technically a legal proceeding, and once it is completed, the state recognizes the marriage as dissolved. But although the process is legal, the issues within a divorce have less to do with the law, and more to do with other factors. Among them include emotions, finances, and personal circumstances.

Common Reasons Couples Get Divorced
There are several reasons spouses decide to go their separate ways. Here are 5 of the most common; maybe you can relate to one (or more) of these…

1. Lack of Communication: Many couples are so busy, they hardly have time to talk to each other. Failure to communicate means a lack of unity when dealing with other problems and conflicts that will inevitably arise.
2. Differing Priorities and Future Goals: Many couples marry too young and/or for the wrong reasons. Later, they realize that they are incompatible, because they don’t have the same priorities, and they lack a shared vision for their future.
3. Lack of Intimacy: When couples are busy, they often grow apart and fail to spend enough time together. This can lead to a failure to meet each other’s physical and emotional needs. When this happens, other serious issues such as infidelity can arise, because one (or both) spouses seek out someone else to meet their needs.
4. Money Problems: When finances get tight, arguments over how to prioritize the spending is a common result. If couples cannot come to some agreement in this area, it can be difficult for the marriage to continue.
5. Inability to Resolve Conflicts: This ties in with #1 (lack of communication) and some of the other issues. When couples fail to establish ground rules for resolving conflicts early on, things can often get out of control.

Looking at these common issues that lead to a divorce, none of them (with the possible exception of physical abuse that may result from an out of control conflict) have much to do with the law. These issues are emotional and personal in nature. For this reason, it is far better to resolve them through divorce mediation, as opposed to traditional litigation, which tends to become a more combative proceeding.

In divorce mediation, the couple sits down together with an impartial mediator to resolve the important issues and develop a solution that works for all parties involved. During the mediation session, both sides are able to voice their concerns in a comfortable and friendly atmosphere, and the mediator directs the discussion and helps guide it to a successful conclusion.

Mediation minimizes the damage that divorce can do to families, damage that unfortunately is often irreparable. In addition, the issues can typically be resolved in only a handful of sessions, minimizing the financial damage and ensuring that the divorce is completed in a more timely manner.