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As an NJ & PA Divorce Mediator, I have worked with clients to develop Parenting Plans that are as diverse and creative as their needs require. In fact, when children are involved, the Parenting Plan is the first step we take during a Divorce Mediation.  In some instances, clients come to me even after it’s been a few years since their divorce because they understand the importance of having a good Parenting Plan.

In addition to addressing the usual topics of where the children will live and who will be responsible for taking them to their extracurricular activities; we invest some time on developing and deciding on ground rules that each parent will follow. In my opinion, Co-Parenting Planning is one of the most important factors that will determine how your children handle the divorce.

A successful Co-Parenting requires each spouse to put aside their own personal difficulties with one another in order to provide a united front and some sense of structure for their children. Children benefit a great deal in having consistency between the rules of each parent. They also benefit from the living example that the two people they love and respect, can come together to resolve issues in a peaceful, productive, and healthy manner.

Parenting is many things, it is being responsible for feeding and clothing the children but it is also the responsibility of creating positive experiences and feelings in their children. Mediation concentrates on putting children first during a divorce and fostering an environment where individuals can work through their conflicts in a productive manner that prepares and positions the family for the dynamics of life after divorce. The alternative affects the lives of these children for a lifetime.

“It has been four years since the divorce. I do not know what it is like to love or be loved unconditionally. I find it hopeless to even try for fear of this gut wrenching pain I knew/know from loving tow of the most wonderful people in the world, mom and dad. I do not know if I will ever heal, when will this torment in my head and heart finally cease? I am 20 years old and I want nothing to do with marriage nor children. I am chained by the wounds of those that should have loved me the most, and I am confused”. Twenty year old woman.

While the union of marriage may be over, the responsibility of parenting is a life long commitment.



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